57
Monday, March 8, 2021, 4AM Eastern Standard Time
The President was up and reading the press this Monday morning, and he did not like much of what he was seeing.
The New York Record could have been worse, he thought to himself.
MIDWESTERN GOVERNOR DEPOSED
Armed Mob, Led by Ban Wilson, Carries Democratic Governor and Staffer Out on a Rail; Wilson Declared Governor by Republicans in State Senate
Four State Police Dead in Melee
Five More State Capitols with Democratic Governors Now Surrounded
No Federal Response
President Had Called Attackers “Fine People,” Said Governor Should “Make a Deal with Them”
…And I was right, he thought. She should have made a deal.
At least that story knocked the other one down the page, he thought. He actually didn’t mind this headline. I really can count on The New York Record to treat me nice sometimes, he thought:
President Denounces Killing Of Federal Judges
Attributes Slayings to “Angry People Who Feel Judges Are Out of Touch.”
But the Washington Tribune had dual headlines, the first about the Midwestern state coup, and the other one headlined:
TERRORIZED JUDICIARY
Judges Nationwide Living in Fear of Retribution from President’s Followers
“What the fuck,” the President said. “What the fuck.”
He reread the first headline in the Record and said, “Fucking Ban Wilson. Always making it about him.”
The door opened.
“Sir, would you like your coffee?”
“Get the hell out of here,” the President snarled.
“Certainly, sir,” Carver said with perfect equanimity.
The President felt even angrier now, because he had wanted coffee. God damn it. Why do people have to be such assholes? All Carver had to do was wait for him to yell for him, and everything would be fine. But now he couldn’t yell, because he would look like a baby. Life was constantly presenting him with these unpalatable choices.
As if reading his mind, Carver knocked twice and then entered with his coffee. “Your coffee, sir,” he said. “I assume you would like your papers as well?” The President grumbled an ambiguous reply.
“Very good, sir. I will bring them in.”
Another grumble. The President began typing on his phone.
–<() Shame what happened to the Angry Okomo Judges. But when their Angry Decisions make Americans mad, they cannot expect them to sit still. Other Judges Take Note!
The President looked again at the bad news on his phone, and began to calm down as the coffee perked him up. He thought back to the discussion he had had the previous afternoon with his Attorney General.
***
“So, what’s going on with these killings of the Angry Okomo Judges?”
“Well, sir, it appears that an aggrieved free people can only be pushed so far,” the Attorney General had replied in his oiliest voice. “People seem to have had enough of these elections being decided by judges instead of by the voters.”
“Well, it makes me look bad. That’s what the media is saying.”
“Only the Fake News, sir,” the AG said. “And you know that simply works in your favor with the real Americans.”
The President had grumbled a little, but was somewhat mollified.
***
But now, even though people were killing on his behalf, he was de-mollified. He had the most powerful job in the world. Why did everyone around him end up being such a giant pain in the ass? Even when they did what he wanted, they had to mess it up so it made him look bad and got him mad.
It was like his wives. They seemed to do whatever he wanted, but then they started boring him, and that was that. Then the women he went to after them either started to bore him after a short time, or else they went to the papers and tried to rat him out, and the stories had to be spiked, or the women paid off, or both. Human beings seemed to be divided into borers, or rats.
But then there was the third category of people who were trying to destroy him. Well, he thought, there were a few less of those after the last few days.
Maybe everyone else would notice what happened to people who tried to cross him, he thought with satisfaction. The Recovery is on track.
© 2020 Nolan O’Brian