40

Saturday, February 6, 2021, 3AM Eastern Standard Time

Joe sat bolt upright in a sweat in his hotel room. His head whipped around, trying to see where he was. It took a moment for his eyes to get accustomed to the dark; after a moment, he noticed Janice, who had jumped out of bed and assumed a defensive crouching position.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Joe whispered, as much to himself as to Janice.

“Jesus,” Janice said. “Are you okay? You were yelling in your sleep.”

Joe leaned forward and put his head in his hands, and took a few deep breaths.

“It’s nothing,” he said. “I’m okay.”

“Excuse me, but that was not nothing,” Janice said.

Joe slowly swung his legs slowly over and got up from the bed.

“I’m gonna… I’m gonna go,” Janice said.

“No, please, you don’t have to.”

“No, I should go.”

“You really shouldn’t. I mean, you really don’t have to. It’s the middle of the night.”

“I’m kind of awake anyway.”

“Don’t go. Please. Just give me a minute.”

Joe rubbed his face and walked into the bathroom.

He switched the light on, filled a glass with water, shook some pills out of a brown plastic prescription bottle, put them in his mouth, and drank the entire glass down. He stood looking in the mirror.

The nightmares were lessening in intensity and frequency, as the doctor had foretold, but they had not yet subsided completely.

He thought back blearily to earlier in the evening. How did we get here? he wondered.

***

He had been out at a Georgetown bar, which had gotten increasingly crowded during his visit as the post-work Friday crowd came in. He was just finishing up a meal at the bar. Sitting with his back to the door was still an uncomfortable experience, but it was one his doctor had recommended.  He was chewing his last mouthful of salad when he started as he felt a poke from behind him.

He turned around to see Janice standing there, dressed in a business pantsuit.

“Hey,” she said. “How’s our hero?”

“Hey,” he said. “How are you doing?”

“Okay, I guess. What have you been up to?”

“Ah, work, I guess.”

“What kind of work?”

“Security. I told Vaneida about it. VIPs who think they need security details, but mostly don’t. Beats being over in Iraq, I guess. Pays better, too.”

Just at that moment, the man seated next to him left his barstool.

“Mind if I sit down next to you?” Janice said. She’s already had a few, Joe thought.

“Not at all,” Joe said. “If you don’t mind lack of social distancing. Where’s… where’s your other friend?”

“Jenna?” she said. “Nature Girl?”

“Why do you call her that?”

“Ah, she likes camping. Canoeing and hiking and wrestling bears. She had a date, I think. Maybe with a bear.”

“So, what brings you here?”

“I’ve been stalking you,” she said.

He must have looked a little panicked, because she punched him in the arm.

“Just shittin’ ya,” she said. “Total coincidence. I come in here pretty often. Fridays mostly. End of the work week.”

“Where do you work?”

“Law firm,” Janice said. “I’m a lawyer. Litigator.”

“Huh,” Joe said. “Now I feel intimidated. I never even finished college.”

“You should be,” she said. “I am very intimidating.” She took a swig of her beer.

“Your friend, Jenna, is she okay? That was a nasty gash from that idiot at the Inauguration.”

“Yeah, she’s okay. She’s tough. Like you said, she’ll be more proud of it than sad about it.”

“I can see that. She is tough.”

“Yep. I think all three of us are.”

“Well, you showed that the other week. How was jail?”

“I like that. ‘How was jail?’” She punched him again. “How was jail for you?”

“It was… interesting.”

“Really? Any interesting interactions?”

“Not really. I think my old job taught me how to let other people know when I didn’t want to be messed with.”

“My job too,” Janice said.

“You want another one?” Joe asked.

“Job? No, I like being a lawyer. I don’t want to be a security guard. Though I am sure I would kick ass at that job.”

Joe indicated her empty glass.

“Oh, do I want another drink,” she said.

She did. And they went on from there.

She was not his type. He was probably not hers. But they had spent most of the rest of the evening laughing. It had been a long time since Joe had done that. Too long. They talked about sports. They talked about music. They compared parental divorces.

Suddenly, it seemed, it was nearing midnight.

“You want to get out of here? Go have a last drink at my hotel?” Joe said.

She had agreed.

While they were sitting in the hotel bar, she had turned serious.

“Are you being straight with us?”

“What?”

“Are your intentions honorable? As respects Vaneida?”

“I never thought she was interested.”

Janice shook her head vigorously and started pawing at the air between them. “No, no, no. I mean, with SNRM. Are you for real?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, are you a legit member of the Resistance? Or are you just here to spy on us?”

Joe swiveled his cranium from side to side as if to shake cobwebs from his head. “Where’s this coming from?”

“That whole… diatribe in the police van. Where’d that come from?”

“You didn’t agree with me?”

“Well, with some of it maybe. But you seemed pretty down on the Democrats.”

“Well, I don’t like how ineffective they’ve been.”

“But you’re still on our side.”

“Sure,” he said. Apparently not convincingly.

“You don’t believe me?” he said.

“Listen,” she said. “You seem like a nice guy. I think your heart is in the right place. But I have to tell you one thing. If you have something you need to tell Vaneida, something you haven’t told her, you have to tell her.”

He did not answer her. He stared at the wall in front of him.

“Got it?” Janice said, a bit slurringly.

“Got it,” he said, turning his head toward her and smiling.

“Okay, take me upstairs,” she said.

So he did. He had a vague memory of being pleasantly mauled. It had not been a disagreeable experience; in fact, in some ways, he thought, it had been exactly what he needed.

***

But as he stood looking in the mirror, he felt his duplicity more deeply than he had ever felt it. What kind of a guy am I? he thought.

He walked back out of the bathroom and saw Janice putting her coat on. He tried to take her coat off, but she was going.

“No means no, mister,” Janice said, pulling it back on. “I have to go.”

“Okay,” he said, hollowly. “This sounds stupid, but thank you. That was the best evening I’ve had since I went overseas.”

“‘You’re better than a night in a tent full of smelly guys in a country full of burqas, baby,’” Janice said.

They both laughed.

“At least,” Joe said.

“Okay, I’m going,” Janice said. “Think about what I said.”

“I will, if I can remember it.”

“You know what I’m talking about,” she said, punching him in the chest lightly.

“I’ll see you ’round,” Joe said, as she opened the door. “Be safe. Call me if you run into any trouble.”

“I’ll call you if I need help burying a guy I had to kill,” she said. “Be good. …Be straight,” she said, pointing at him as she went backwards out into the hallway.

He raised his right hand to her as the door slammed shut.

© 2020 Nolan O’Brian