72
Thursday, March 25, 2021, 5PM Eastern Standard Time
The National Security team was fully masked, gloved, sweating, and in their seats in the improvised Situation Room – White House South, at the President’s Florida golf resort, being briefed by the Acting Acting Secretary of Defense, Larry.
“The North Korean ICBM launched at 2AM Eastern Daylight Time. It followed a longer southerly route, 15,000 nautical miles, rather than the expected northerly Great Circle Route of about 6,700 nautical miles, across the South Pacific Ocean. In this way it took two and a half times as long as the expected route, but it avoided going over any major countries, or crossing our normal NORAD contact lines, until it crossed the Central American isthmus, and then skirted the Florida Peninsula to the east, dropping into the sea some 50 miles east of the President’s home golf resort.”
“So he was trying to send me a message, Jerry?” the President said.
“It appears so. It’s the craziest thing. No one has ever even tried to send an ICBM via the South Pole. They’ve shown they can launch a rocket with more than double the fuel payload of a normal missile and deliver it to a target successfully. In addition, we’ve detected a twenty-kiloton explosion at a known previous test site in North Korea. I am told that the test was a success.”
“Success is good, right?”
“No, sir, a success for them. For the enemy. For North Korea.”
“But I thought we weren’t enemies anymore. He sent me letters. We fell in love. I told the people at the rallies.”
“Yes, sir. His passing was a blow. His successor’s attitude is a surprise and a disappointment to us all.”
“So, what do we do now? We can’t let this new guy get away with this. We’ll look like a bunch of babies.”
There was a silence among the team.
“Well what are you guys gonna do? This is not making me look good. You guys better come up with something good, or I’ll fire every one of you dummies.”
More silence.
The President looked from his Acting Acting Secretary of Defense to his National Security Advisor, who had been a game show host and commentator at Wolf News.
“Bob, you went to Yale. What should we do?”
“Uh… we must look resolute.”
“You mean, like the desk?”
The National Security Advisor looked rapidly from one side to another, but was otherwise silent.
The President addressed the new Acting Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, a tall, dark-haired man with an eyepatch and a prominent scar across his forehead. The President had chosen him for his uncanny resemblance to a cartoon character named Nick Fury.
“General Bill.” “Yes sir.”
“You must have some experience with this shit. And you have one of those good military haircuts. Central Casting. What do we do?”
“Well, sir, I was mainly a groundpounder. Infantry. We didn’t get mixed up with missiles much. And I just started a week ago.”
“What were you doing before this?”
“I was in charge of Fort Sill.”
“Where’s that?”
“Oklahoma, sir.”
“Is that close to Korea?”
The ACJCS looked confused.
“Uh… closer… than… here?” he answered.
“So you’re our Korean expert. What should we do?”
“I think we need to consult the military, sir.”
“You’re not the military?”
“Well, I’m part of the military, sir. But don’t you have experts to do this stuff? I was told there would be experts.”
The President sneered and turned to the Vice President.
“Well what do you suggest?”
“Sir, I think perhaps a solemn prayer would be in order.”
The President leaped to his feet. “We’re not gonna pray! We don’t have time for that shit! What are we, losers?”
He looked around the room at the people he had chosen. Most were new; all had been chosen first for loyalty, and second, either for their look or their personal connections to people he knew. The Acting Acting Secretary of Defense, tall and tan, was some kind of golf course manager. The Acting Director of National Intelligence was a Republican fundraiser and Hollywood agent. The Acting Secretary of Homeland Security was the head of the College Republicans, due to graduate from a Christian university in two months. His own Special Advisor, his son-in-law, was sitting in a corner, quivering and sweating. The Acting Chief of Staff was a reality television producer. And the Acting Deputy National Security Advisor was an actor.
The Attorney General! he thought. He’s smart! Where is he? Oh yeah, he’s off planning the Revenge…
Ultimately his gaze fell on Maxfield King, the Secretary of State. At last, someone who knew something.
“Max?”
“Well, Mr. President, there are not a lot of appetizing options.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
“If we attack them, they have more than 10,000 artillery pieces aimed at Seoul. Aside from the possibility that they have another missile ready to launch, if they launch those artillery pieces, the estimates are that it could kill half a million people in a half hour. We no longer have troops near the border, because you pulled them back down the peninsula several hundred miles. So even if we wanted to attack, the North Koreans have a million troops, minimum, right on that border. So, there is no instant victory to be had. Then, of course, there is the possibility that they could lob one of their other nuclear devices southward and take out the entirety of Seoul, or, worse, down to where our troops are stationed.”
“All bad stuff. Tell me something good.”
“Well, the South Koreans have a lot of guys near the border.”
“Good. We can send them.”
“Well, we can’t send them. The South Koreans can.”
“So what should we DO? We’re gonna need to come up with a plan. Before, you know.”
“Before the North Koreans have a chance to act?”
“No, you id – ”
The President impatiently cut himself off. He couldn’t embarrass the only guy in the room who seemed to know anything. He might need him soon.
“No,” he said, calming down. “Before the Wolf News evening report.”
“Well, I think you should have the Acting White House Communications Director make a statement that says that this is an unacceptable provocation to the entire world order, that this aggression cannot stand, and that you are considering an appropriate response, and that all options are on the table.”
“That’s good. That’s good. Max, I want you to draft that thing up. All you other dummies leave.”
The other attendees leaped to their feet in relief.
“Get your security guys together, Max,” the President said. “I want to get a round in before the sun goes down. Have the new press girl, what’s her name, put it out before Wolf News at Six.”
© 2020 Nolan O’Brian